Mark Zuckerberg’s Newest Facebook Status: I’m a Real Billionaire

In case you just woke from a coma at the center of the earth's core, Facebook's IPO blasts off today. And here's a casually obnoxious reminder from Mark Zuckerberg, who has something to do with this, if you weren't sure.

The status update—Mark Zuckerberg listed a company on NASDAQ. — with Chris Cox and 4 others—demonstrates the dynamic flexibility of the Facebook Timeline™, which allows you to share the moments of your life that matter most, and include those Friends™ who were along for The Ride™ with you. It was also rigged by a team of Facebook engineers to trigger at the exact moment Zuck activated the NASDAQ opening button bell, further making him the least relatable 28-year-old in the history of people in their 20s. More here.